Toy Story 3 Trailer!

Woooo! Obviously is going to be funny...

Ricky's laughter makes me laugh

This is a clip of Elmo and Rocky Gervais. It is pretty damn funny! You can genuinly tell that Ricky is having a blast hanging out with Elmo, but who wouldn't? Note his laugh: it is ridiculous.


Watch the video!!!

L b's.

Salute Your Shorts

I came across a few episodes of Salute Your Shorts last night while Jess and I were finished wathing episodes of Are You Afraid of the Dark. I realized that the difference between the shows that Nickelodeon shows have now that they didn't before is the fake laughing. I hate that. I think the fake laughing started with My Brother and Me.
Anyway..the real laughing starts when you hear Bobby Budnick say, "I tell a simple ghost story and you buy it. Hook, line and stinker...I just cut one.." then proceeds to fan by his butt as if he farted. Hilllarriousss.

Here is the classic Zeke the Plumber episode in honor of Halloween.

Watch Salute Your Shorts - Episode 2 in Entertainment  |  View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com



later boners

Mr. Galikonukus

Rumor has it that the greatest band ever formed...Mr. Galikonukus and his Mayhem Band are going to be playing soon!!!! Here are some of the songs they are thinking of doing...

Hey Jealousy - Gin Blossoms
Tab      Video

Wonderful World - Sam Cooke
Tab      Video

The Way - Fastball
Tab      Video

The Sign - Ace of Base
Tab      Video

Runaway Train - Soul Asylum
Tab     Video

Cum on Feel the Noize - Quiet Riot
Tab     Video

Rockin in the Free World - Neil Young
Tab    Video

Have You Ever Seen the Rain - CCR
Tab    Video

Party in the USA - Miley Cyrus
Tab    Video

later boners

sin-a-muh

Well hello there everyone who doesn't read this! Hope your doing awesome.

Yes people, I do realize that nobody reads this blog however I do not care. I am still going to pretend as if tons and tons of people read it (or atlwast one) and keep on posting!

Since Jess and I do not hae cable I have been watching a TON of movies online lately, as well as TV shows.  got bored today of doign both of those things and got updated on most of the new movies that are going to be coming out soon and I decided to let you know which ones you should go see, and which ones you def should not see..

Here we go..

Or as I like to call them.."Make me feel like a pussy for crying" movies. Then again, Angels in the Outfield wasn't a chick flick and it had the same effect..anyway..

This movie called Valentines Day is due out in Feb. (obv) I didn't have to even watch the preview to realize it was just another one of those 'He's just not that into you' type of casts. By that I mean that it has a shitload of well-known celebs in it, just to try and get you to go see it! In fact, I am pretty sure it might be the same movie, just with different people playing the parts. In this movie there is

Julia Roberts, Jamie Foxx, Bradley Cooper, Anne Hathaway, Jennifer Garner, Jessica Alba, Patrick Dempsey, Jessica Biel, Emma Roberts, Ashton Kutcher and Topher Grace.

This made me want to write a letter.


Dear Hollywood-
You realize Scarlette Johannson isn't listed right? Was that a mistake?

<------Did you forget about this outfit?
None of the chicks casted could ock this outfit.
My sugestion-
Put this office scene in hte movie again, bc it was hot.
Thanks-
Paulie


I'd see it...







No more chick flicks that are even worth mentioning...but this preview for 'The Blind Side'straight up made me tear up. It looks like it should be a typical save the delinquent kinda movie, PLUS Sandra Bullock has a southern accent!

I straight up love family movies. I don't care who makes them, but usually I am mildly entertained if not 100% engulfed in these kinda movies...lame? I don't care.

'Old Dogs' is a comedy about 2 guys that have to watch a pair of seven year-olds. Sounds kinda lame, but the preview really makes it look like it has potential to be funny! Once again, I wouldn't pay to see it, but if ths movie came on TBS I would def watch it! It has John Travolta (eh) and Robin Williams (eh) AND Seth Green (Woo!) This preview is worth a view.

'The Toothfairy' has The Rock in it. It looks alright. If I HAD to see it, I would, but this one looks like I could go wihout seeing it. Billy Crystal is in it too, but I haven't seen anything with him in it since City Slickers 2. I'm not goign to waste the space but if you want to see it, it is here

Ummmm next is Toy Story 3. Shit yeah I'll even pay to see this one. They only have the teaser availsble online right now, you have to go see the double feature of 1+2, there they have the preview for 3....A bootleg leaked oline but Disney was quick to get that shit off quick!

I've just got one for you in this genre. It is called 'Paranormal Activity', and the preview makes it look pretty scary. I think it was shot the same kind of way the blair-witch project was minus the shaky camera. It it only coming out in a few cities for now..thank god bc I know Jess would want to go see it and I'd be scared.

The BEST type of movies there are!

First there is a movie coming out with Michael Cera in it. I think the premise is that he can't get a girl so he creates and alter-ego that is a bad-ay-suh. The plus is that you get 2 Michael Cera's for the price of one. Michael Cera is funny enough to MAYBE be able to make this a god movie. The thing that may be a huge advantage to this movie is the fact that it is going to be rated R. I wouldn't pay to see it, but bootlegged online? Oh yeah.

'Men Who Stare at Goats' is a movie based o a true story. Something about an army branch that apparently  sed psychic powers. It looks like a dark comedy, but it has George Clooney in it and it looks real good. I def wanna see this one!

The guy who madeNapolean Dynamite made this next movie, and it looks rreaalll bbaadddd..It's called 'Gentleman Broncos'

Alright, well his is taking up a lot of my time. Considering hat nobody s going to ever look at this I suppose I will just add one more. It is called 'Mystery Team' and I think it looks pretty fuckin funny!

Lata Bonaz

Sing this (beatin' bitches)!!

Alrighty! I am going to apologize for that first entry, that is not what this blog is about. Apparently bathroom humor is only funny when you are talking about it..not typing it.

Today I would like to take an opportunity to look back on a song that I sang in choir when I was a wee lad. I'm not getting all music nerd on y'all, I just found the lyrics kind of inappropriate (therefore funny) to be singing in a school setting.

The name of the song is called 'Neighbor's Chorus', it is from Jacques Offenbach’s comic opera, Lo jolie Parfumeuse. It was written in the golden age of 1954 when the world was fucking awesome and everything was mad easy...but that's beside the point. I sang this song when I was in 8th grade, which would put me somewhere around the studly age of 14ish and a half maybe. Granted the song was a made for comedic purposes, it was tough to discover the humor of domestic abuse at that age. I mean sure, everyone knew bitches got beat back in the day...but to sing about it 40some years later...awkward.

Take a listen!

Here are the lyrics so you can follow...

Please excuse us, mister, we don’t want to bother, we only want to know

All of us are neighbors and we're very curious

Why do you look so low?

Give us all the lowdown,

Did you reach a show-down with your last lady love?

Did you feel a let-down because you lost your love?

Ohhhhh!

Did she keep you waiting, did she break your date?

Please elucidate, please elaborate

Did she treat you badly, was she very bad?

Did she make you mad? Are you very sad?

(repeat words, just different rhythm)

Was she a very rich man’s daughter

Who showed that she was not all you thought her?

When with your songs of love you sought her,

Were you dowsed with water poured down from above?

Did you beat her, try to choke her till you made her pout?

Did her father take a poker, did he throw you out?

Did you beat her and choke her and knock her all about? Ah!

(back to verse 1)

(repeat verse 2)

(craziness ending)

The thing is....the song itself is pretty cool. I loved singing it because it was really fast and sounded kick-ay-suh. Looking back now, it is pretty funny. I think that we were allowed to sing it because if you do not have the words right in front of you, you don't have any idea what he song is about...until the

DID YOU BEAT HER AND CHOKE HER AND KNOCK HER ALL ABOUT...AHHHHH! part.

Not that any parents paid attention to ANYTHING that ever happend at a chorus concert...

unless someone puked or passed out (goto 20 seconds)...

So the wife beating song went unnoticed by the parents and we were allowed to sing it....plus I'm sure half of the fathers in the audience were like, "Fuck yeah I beat her and choked her and knocked her all about!"
Because it was the 90's...and mad people got divorced.

But on the real real real real real real real...
This song is pretty funny now that I think about it.

The song that we sang after it called, 'Fuck the milkman, pay him in pennies' however, was not.

Lata Bonaz.

Cat shit, People Shit

Well, hello there. I decided Im'a go Doug Funnie on em' and start to blog a little bit. To start off I guess you should know that I am a 25 year old guy, who lives with his hottie of a fiance, 2 cats, 4 guitars, one big amp, a buncha books that haven't been touched and last but not least...a dishwasher.

Now that you know all about my life, I think it is time for me to start this blogging nonsense!

So, earlier today I was dropping a deuce...you know...making reece's feces...bombin some...lettin em' go...
I can't make up anymore at this time,but it got me to thinking...

My 2 cats share a litter box just like my fiance and I share a toilet. You know how pissed they must get when their litterbox doesn't flush? I bet real pissed! If I had to bury my shit so that the next person who went had a "clear" spot to go on, I would not enjoy life as much as I do right now. And at the same time, if the person I were living with were like a bad shit coverer I think it would bring some drama to the table that could simply be avoided.

I only bring this up because one of the 2 cats I have is a TERRIBLE shit coverer, and not only do I hate it becasue it makes everything smell like cat shit, but the other cat has to dodge these poo mines when she has to go. TOTALLY UNFAIR!

Why can't someone make an AFFORDABLE (key word) flushing litter box that goes to a special cat sewer where no one can ever worry about the smell of cat shit again? Is that so hard to ask? I mean WTF inventors..
I gotta admit, I lied in the beggining of this entry...I said, "earlier today" when I Was talking about droppin it...I meant when I started writing. Soooo, I am done now and other things are calling (like the tp) so I will check y'all later.
One.

j/k...I would never say one, I don;t even get what it means!

Bye!

j/k I wouldn't say bye because it doesn't look cool written down, only when I say it with the enthusiasm a heartfelt goodbye should be said with!

OH SHIT! I think i'd rather clean a litter box than deal with these...


Later boners.